BL1ND G1RL SW4G: Archive

7 tags

Aug 31st

13 notes

3 tags

Aug 31st

7,151 notes

4 tags

wow we never shut up omg this is really long and...

Rose: What exactly has lodged itself betwixt the ridges of your colon this evening, Strider?
Dave: nothing in particular dude just a rock solid cock representing the zenith of my unmitigated disgusting tendencies
 this dick is shooting a massive stinging load of humiliation and guilt too thats not going to wash off very easily
 its caked up in the nooks and crannies like mildew in a shower
 anything else you wanna know or was that verbose enough to quench your bodys desire of forming the iron clad grip youve been desperate to get around my balls
Rose: Dave Beyonce Strider. You know perfectly well your brobdingnagian psychological issues are as exposed to my adept mind as the open pages of the magazines to which you cleave.
Dave: wow fuck you i dont even like comics all those vogue magazines arent mine
 what would i need with 50 tips to give him the best orgasm of his life
 spoilers!!
 nothing
Rose: Mmm. Interesting. You sound decidedly bitter in relation to your closing statement, there. Would that happen to have any connection to whatever is bothering you?
Dave: rose titmongler lalonde
 dont you have some deep cavernous alien vag to scope out in the name of anatomical research??
 im sure harvard would love a vivid description on the inner machinations of kanayas beef slot
Rose: Resorting to insinuating things about myself and my respectable friendship with Kanaya, I see. Charming. Does this have anything to do with what we spoke of last time?
Dave: fuck off lalonde im serious
Rose: As I suspected. You understand I have never passed judgement on you in the past, correct? Why would I choose to do so now? I only want to help you, if you would allow me the pleasure.
Dave: this isnt some piss poor attempt at cockblocking your attempted gifting of the fat nosy package of unwanted advice securely wrapped in unforgivably grandiloquent prose
 if i was a synesthete your words would probably send my mind into a tumbling vortex of overexposure like some harsh drug trip colored entirely in vibrant purple
 but honestly i would just love to sit around and listen to your mindnumbing psychoanalyzation of my actions but im already fully aware of how grotesque they are thanks
Rose: Fine, I suppose if you feel so strongly about my extended hand of helpfulness I will reluctantly retract it. I see you certainly have this entire ordeal under control and are in no need of my services, comforting though they have always been in the past.
Dave: ... ugh
 you flighty broads and your guilt trips
 i didnt gain an ectosister that day in the lab i gained a jewish mother

Aug 31st

12 notes

wegotamedicalemergency asked: not a single black person follows me

Aug 31st

36,461 notes

Aug 31st

94,043 notes

2 tags

askt3rezi: ask6amzee: askmaidaradia: ...

Aug 29th

14,428 notes

8 tags

presented to you with very little context

Dave Strider: i feel like i should be mildly disturbed by talking about giving my unborn daughter a giant rubber dick to snuggle and chew on
Dave Strider: and yet im really not
Bro Strider: you are truly a strider.
Bro Strider: please tell me how jade reacts to this.
Dave Strider: im pretty sure her reaction will be visible in the form of vicious bodily harm done to me
Bro Strider: oh, good.
Dave Strider: hopefully ill just be able to walk it off
Dave Strider: thatd be fairly embarrassing to explain to a doctor
Dave Strider: "what happened to you mr strider" "oh i gave my daughter a big pink dick to teethe on and her mother beat the shit out of me with a rifle and now all thats left of my genitals are these pitiful shreds ive put on ice to preserve some ounce of dignity and honor they were once brimming with"

Aug 29th

34 notes

Dave is not cool.

lemonsnout: eriderp: cooties-: dstrider: theknightoftime: karkitty: Dave is not cool. fight me fight us fight everyone that reblogs this fight all my friends i convice that this statement is dumb fight all of us. ALL OF US.

Aug 29th

27 notes